Character Colbert's reaction to Time's Person of 2006

17 December 2006
The Colbert Report:
Time Magazine’s 2006 Person of the Year Issue
aka Procrastination


This week, Time Magazine will announce its person of the year for 2006. CNN had a special about how they choose Person of the Year and I made one of our interns watch and report to me the inside scoop. I’ll tell you America, it’s looking pretty good for me.

Now I don’t think they have released the issue yet, but stay tuned America….

Bobby: Actually Stephen, they did release who the Person of the Year was yesterday.

Stephen: Yesterday?! Why have I not seen it?! Who is it?! Is it me? No, I don’t want to know don’t tell me on air. Why did you not tell me until the show? Horrible idea, why would I not be shown this immediately?

Bobby: [blank stare with a shrug]

Stephen: [Starts his next segment, then turns back to Bobby…] The pressure is killing me! Who is Time Magazine’s person of the year?

Bobby: It’s… “you”

Stephen: What? It’s me? I can’t believe it, this is so wonderful. Quick, Chuck, throw up the graphic for “who’s honoring me now” [graphic enters with audio] Wow, Time, I can’t… I can’t believe, I’m honored and… just… shocked… Well not completely shocked, I mean, I understand why you would… but…

Bobby: Ste-Stephen, actually it’s not…

Stephen: Bobby, I’m sorry I yelled before. I’m glad you waited until now to tell me…

Bobby: I don’t think you under-

Stephen: Where’s the magazine? I need to see what picture they used of me on the cover!

Bobby: Well, here is the issue [walks it over to Stephen at the desk]

Stephen: [Looks into the issue that has a mirror for a cover] Wow! I look stunning, and I’ve never seen this photo before. In fact, I don’t even remember the photo shoot. Anyways, People I take this honor and with it I commend you! You have built a sense of community and collaboration amongst all of your viewers and change the world and through the time and time again that you come into our offices, living rooms, and bathrooms across the world and not only change the way we see the world but changing the way the world changes. You have created an active community that engages your viewers, and I am just so proud that you have seen that in me. I am honored to be labeled the person of the year for 2006. But really, you and your readers are the heroes that all of us honored over the past 29 years – including me this year represent.


Link to Time Magazine Person of the Year Article: http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/16/time.you.tm/index.html
(note that the magazine will be available for viewers to see and therefore see that Colbert does not hold the title to himself)